Sunday, March 12, 2006

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just Not You!

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.

- Alice in Wonderland



This article on Introversion that I was directed to from here, sparked a chain of thoughts (well, what else do you expect of an introvert!), and further fuelled by the various comments and reactions from friends and other readers the following thoughts emerged, about ‘Introversion/Extroversion’ in specific and ‘type theories’ in general.

(1) Introverts are not necessarily detached or someone who don't need people (as the article mentions – they are not ‘misanthropic’) - Just that the effort required to interact in larger crowds is draining, and they prefer one-to-one interactions. The need to 'connect' at a human level can be very strong for even an introvert (It’s ok even if that connection happens through mail - infact the Internet is a boon for any introvert, as it provides the ideal environment to create connections, without the discomfort of the face-to-face medium), where as on the other hand, you may find extroverts who don't necessarily have the need to connect deeply with people (point is, a tendency towards either orientation doesn't automatically suggest a person's need to be with people)

(2)Though introverts are clearly at a greater disadvantage compared to their extrovert counterparts (especially as a child, when the comfort of 'being yourself' may not have yet developed and a constant push towards being more 'active' may lead to a lack of self-esteem, as the child tends to assume 'something must be wrong with me' to incite constant prodding) - the extroverts too may be at a disadvantage at times (imagine a gregarious extrovert growing up in a family of introverts)

(2) Most of us tend to balance-out our 'inherent' personalities - like everything else in nature, where, magically enough everything strives towards a state of equilibrium, so is the case with the human mind, and infact a lack of that is what leads to most mental/personality disorders (like any other disorder in nature) Which means, over time, introverts get more comfortable interacting with crowds and extroverts realise the need for some 'quite time'. (That tendency to achieve the state of equilibrium, very similar to what Jung calls 'individuation' is perhaps what we are referring to when we find a person 'balanced' - they are people, who have consciously or unconsciously sensed the dangers inherent in an 'extreme' form of anything – ‘too much of a good thing can be bad’)

(4) The true objective and purpose of any theories like these (that enunciate differences in people, like the MBTI, which the article also cites) is to highlight and appreciate the inherent differences, and should not be taken as an excuse to pander ones egos and get stuck in rigid patterns of behaviour (“See, this is how I am supposed to be, you can’t expect me to behave differently!”). The realisation arising out of the awareness of how different people can be, should be liberating, not restricting! It should not only lead to a heightened self-awareness but also to the awareness that we cannot assume everyone has the needs we have and hence may react, perceive and respond to situations differently.


In short as this book describes it excellently, ‘I’m Not Crazy. I’m Just Not You’

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