To see a World in a grain of sand...

Skimming the Surface

2007-02-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

On the surface, Deepa Mehta would have you believe that her movie Water is something that has the potential to immerse your senses and spirit into. As the opening shots of the movie roll out, they do capture your attention and hold it in anticipation to make you sit through what is to follow.

It's set in colonial India and intents to act as a mouthpiece to highlight the plight of Hindu widows then (and, we are told, even today, something which needs to be substantiated). Few moments into the movie and it is easy to see why it's called ‘Water’. Water is symbolic at many levels. The obvious one being that the story unfolds on the banks of the river Ganges. Extended a little further, ‘Water’ could be symbolic of the significance that it's Gangajal has in Hindu culture - as a cleansing and purifying element. Seen in the context of the movie - as a cleansing and purifying element in the lives of the various characters, who are living in some forms of a personal hell that they seek deliverance from.

Therein lies the irony too – the very river considered to be the symbol of purity, has been sullied and desecrated down the ages, with scant regard towards what is actually needed to keep it pure, healthy and alive. And so, the story of the river could actually be the story of the women in the story – deified as Goddesses by the same culture that stoops to an ugly form of societal dominance to dehumanize them through the systematic elimination of all that is pleasurable from their lives once they are widowed (and hence, once they discontinue to serve any purpose in the family, and as a character in the movie states, ‘is just another mouth to feed’).

Subsisting within the confines of a life marked by self-denial and forced abstinence (a hellish life which, ironically enough, according to the scriptures, is to ensure their place in heaven) - some of them aspire to be like the lotus, which blossoms despite the filth surrounding it. But then, neither is a woman a lotus (as one of the characters reminds us), nor is she desirous of being deified as a Goddess – she wants her place in the world, equivalent to any other human being, to enjoy and partake every worldly pleasure that she is entitled to, by virtue of being an individual. This, is my interpretation of what the director intends to convey through the movie. Also referred, in parallel, is the non-violent, nonetheless strident war of Mahatma Gandhi and his followers, towards achieving a similar objective – freedom. Making the freedom struggle for the country's independence another parable in the movie.

‘Water’ unfolds through the eyes of 8-yr old Chhuiya (played by Sarala), who is the newest inhabitant of the Vidhvashram when she is widowed at an age even too young to know what marriage means and is frighteningly caught in an adult world of social norms that are fraught with hypocrisy and perversion. We are subsequently introduced to the other inhabitants – the stoic, serene Shakuntala (Seema Biswas) who has chosen to devote her life to the piety her dharma has initiated into, till the day she is forced to choose between her dharma and her antaratma (inner conscience). Then there is the impossibly-beautiful Kalyani (Lisa Ray) who, we learn eventually, is the ‘jewel’ of the ashram as she serves a more odious purpose in the functional well-being of the ashram. The other characters include the dictatorial Madhumati (Manorama), who has through unexplained means taken up the charge of running the ashram. And Bua, a geriatric occupant who has been living this life of forced deprivation ever since she was a little girl, and her days are spent fantasizing about the delectable sweets that she last indulged in on her wedding day, as that little girl who was too young to even comprehend marriage.

The other significant character in this tale is that of a young law student and a Gandhian idealist, Narayan (John Abraham), who is smitten by the lovely Kalyani and sets out to defy tradition by marrying a widow.

Despite the potent metaphor (captured beautifully through the lens of the cinematographer in luminous shots that seem to be drenched in hues of green and blue), some poignant moments and a competent performance by Seema Biswas and the little Sarala, unfortunately the movie fails to touch a chord.

Neither does it have the brazen starkness of a ‘Bandit Queen’ (a movie which is truly capable of shaking you out of your cocoon of oblivion and pushing you into a horrific world which is as real to some as your refined urban existence is to you) nor does it have the lyrical angst of a ‘Pinjar’. The weakest point of the movie is the crux it rests on – the dreamy love story between the beautiful widow and the handsome idealist. It is far too flimsy, which makes the core intention of the movie trivial.

To begin with, the task of carrying the movie through the love story rests on the pretty shoulders of two model-turned actors – Lisa Ray (playing Kalyani) and John Abraham (playing Narayan), who undoubtedly make an attractive pair but do little to add any weight to their characters. And you are left wondering what was the director’s objective behind this casting. Wouldn’t the need to tell the tale in all earnestness have driven the choice of actors to be based on acting capabilities rather than aesthetic appeal ?

In Kalyani’s character, at no point do we feel the anguish of a woman who spends her days locked up like chattel and at nights ferried across the river to fulfill lasvicous needs of aging men. We expect, but don’t sense any cynicism towards men and matrimony in someone who has experienced only the dark side of both. Neither do we understand why Narayan is motivated to defy tradition to marry Kalyani (besides her porcelain good looks and a set of self-righteous ideals infused by Gandhian ideology). What is it that binds them as individuals and draws them to one another, to indulge in forbidden love. Here are two people, caught in a stifling social order - we fail to experience the sense of release they would have felt in the brief moments of liberation that they snatch to get away from the reality of an existence that has become fetid with age-old customs. And though we would want to feel the exuberance of unexpected, tender moments they experience or the pain of unrequited love, we feel nothing. In short, the two characters seem to be playing a part in a fairy tale, reciting poetry and exchanging soulful looks, drowning the whole purpose of the movie in cheesy, adolescent-like love.

The dialectic process that leads the character of the stoic Shakuntala to go through an awakening (who till the end seems to be resigned to her fate) provides the movie some credibility in attempting to state its message of social reform, however, in conclusion, the movie disappoints and fails to connect at any level, leaving you with no images or thoughts that have the potential to linger on. And I wonder what were the protesters protesting against. They have done more service than disservice to Deepa Mehta, by sensationalising it - which allowed Deepa Mehta to bank on the curiosity generated by the controversy. In reality, the movie is worth no protest - and if this was considered worthy of an Oscar nomination, an Oscar nomination too means little.

We went to Vegas

2007-01-29T20:49:00.000-08:00

We went to Vegas, and had a great time. A holiday in Vegas is like an outing to a large amusement park – a festive mood hangs over the city during the day that translates into a night long party. The major attractions, ofcourse, are the hotels themselves, which have gone beyond fresh linen and a clean bath - the most rudimentary need a hotel is meant to fulfill - but there is nothing rudimentary about Vegas – its opulent, lavish and every other similar adjective.

During our two day visit, we lodged at the sprawling MGM Grand – built around the theme of the Hollywood MGM Grand Studios.

Most of the hotels are built around a chosen theme – which have been executed innovatively. Though we did not tour every hotel, some of them represent their themes through striking exteriors.

In the morning we stepped out of the MGM Grand, to begin the Vegas sight-seeing tour – which is essentially a walk on the Vegas Strip ( the 4 mile stretch of Vegas where most of the attraction of the ‘Sin –City’ lies).

A few steps around the corner, we were facing the Hotel New York - New York. The façade of this hotel is built to resemble the Manhattan Skyline of New York– complete with the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Chrysler Towers, Brooklyn Bridge.

A walk further down led us to the Hotel Paris – well, as the name suggests, built along the Paris theme, with a replica of the Eiffel tower, cobbled pavement and a road side Bistro. I personally found the above two hotels very aesthetic in the way the theme was represented through the external architecture. Lovely.

The most beautiful and classiest employment of its theme was at The Venetian – built along the theme of Venice. From the paintings on the ceilings, to the branded souvenirs (consisting of the famous Venetian masks and little gondolas on cups, fridge magnets etc, the souvenirs were more Venice than Vegas) - Venice resides in the details. The ‘Grand Canal Shoppes’ – the shopping arcade of the hotel, is an expansive indoor arena – only that the way its designed and built, with a false sky, the ambient lighting, a canal, with gondolas, winding through (though, the water in the canal was uncomfortably swimming-pool blue). We felt we were outdoors.

The shopping area even has an ‘open’ market place with eateries and stalls (selling ‘Venetian’ merchandise)

Ofcourse, a noticeable activity in this entire hotel hopping was the occasional indulgence in the pastime this ‘Playground of America’ is best known for – casinos. Suffice to say, we lost, we won, we lost again and won again and had some good fun in the process – and at least, at the end, were not left in the negative. And also marveled at how profitable a venture like this would be - to dole out money, in a five-star ambience, with drinks on the house and still, at the end, still laugh all the way to the bank.

Vegas had some other interesting sights too, like this 'Elvis' pair we spotted, outside a 'Harley Davidson' Cafe.

There were some palpable disappointments though – the eagerly looked forward to ‘Vegas Shows’. This was one place where the slick 'Vegas packaging’ failed, and I am compelled to say that content simply did not match up to all that hype. The other was the Lion Habitat at the MGM Grand, which had been publicized something like this - ‘Separated from the lions by only one and a half inches of glass, visitors can watch as these majestic creatures feed, play, groom themselves and sleep’. What we saw, ahem, were two extremely bored lions sleeping in some obscure corner of the ‘habitat’ (a disappointingly small glass enclosure). Maybe we just caught the lions at the wrong time.

To sum it up, few hours into Vegas, and you realize that what is most fascinating about Vegas is the fact that it is a dazzling tourist spot built out of virtually nothing – no natural treasures, no culture or history to boast of. Its just the All-American entrepreuner spirit that packages some good entertainment and markets it just the right way, and a post WWII cheap, shoddy town in the middle of the desert gets transformed into the 'All-American Road' .

The movie 'Lajja'

2006-10-22T22:03:00.000-07:00

Today I watched the film 'Lajja', released in 2001 - directed by Raj Kumar Santoshi, with a top of the line star cast that boasts of Madhuri Dixit, Rekha, Manisha Koirala, Mahima Chaudhuri, Anil Kapoor, Jackie Shroff, Ajay Devgan. And as if that was not enough, there are two 'item numbers' by Urmila Matondkar and Sonali Bendre.

The plot was interesting enough to get me to watch the movie - a story that narrates the tale of four different women as seen and experienced by one of them. And despite its melodrama, obvious cliches and a lot hamming, the movie made an impact. The central protagonist, or the sutradhar, is Vaidehi (Manisha Koirala). She is the wife of a NRI tycoon - who feels lost in his materialistic world that she finds debase and unfulfilling.

Vaedehi's attempt to escape from this shallow world and preserve her integrity in the process, takes her on a journey - a journey which brings her face to face with some stark, brutal reality. Through her eyes, we witness lives that remind us of the grim situation that continues to exist in India even today. Lives that are representative of the greatest ironies of Indian society - where the female form is worshipped as goddesses on one hand and defiled through practices of dowry, infanticide and rape on the other hand.
The story weaves in an out of the lives of the four protagonists --

Vaidehi, the wife of a selfish, egotistical man. She's being hunted by him and is on the run. A flight the takes off falteringly, but ends with her soaring to reach out for the purposeful-ness she is searching for.

Mythili, the college-educated demure middle-class girl who displays spunk in revolting against the back-breaking dowry demands and the constant humiliation suffered by her father at the hands of her future in laws.

Janaki, the bold and independent small town stage actress who is unabashed about her pre-marital pregnant status - and rises up against the hypocritical standards of proprietary that society imposes solely upon women.

Ramdulaari, the progressive, backward-caste mid-wife living in a small village somewhere in northern India who challenges the oppressive ways of the upper-caste local politician - plodding relentlessly to uplift the dismal status of the women folk.

As the story progresses, we find ourselves, like Vaidehi, drawn into the plight of these women, and are left stunned, disgusted and shamed. Overly-dramatic they maybe, but the tales being played out are real stories of real women in contemporary India. And not too different from Vaidehi, we are left in awe of the way these women choose to stand up and face their grim situation bravely and courageously.

Amongst the performances, Madhuri Dixit steals the show. She sizzles as the brassy nautanki-actress who lives life on her own terms. The entire 'Ramayan' sequence that conveys what is essentially the crux of the movie, is sterling. It draws an analogy between the life of Sita and these women, questions the double standards that exist in the entire Agni Pariksha episode and goes a step further to state that Ram's victory over Ravana would have been futile had it not been for Sita's will to keep Ravan's overtures at bay. Madhuri competently emotes the myriad emotions of heartbreak, disbelief, agony and rage that the character, Janaki, goes through during the course of the stage play - as backstage, she is confronted with the reality of her own life that is coming apart.

The other female leads are adequate and do justice to the roles they are called to enact. The chilling gang-rape scene is chilling and portrayed sensitively, managing to do what it is meant to do - make one cringe.

The male actors complement the female characters and do not attempt to hog the screen. They are presented to us in varying shades of morality - the self-indulgent,arrogant husband (Jackie Shroff); the good-hearted small time thief played by Anil Kapoor. The larger than life, super-heroic Robin Hood-ish Bulla (Ajay Devgan),a character which feels a tad out of place in this tale that is principally intended to be 'feminist' in tone.

The movie by no means is perfect or brilliant. It never really achieves to question our own conscience in the manner Rajkumar Santoshi's earlier film Damini did. Neither does it match the complex moral terrain Damini dragged us into. The situations and characters are either white or black - lacking the subtlety that blurs the line between right and wrong in real-life situations. The only too human mental conflict that a Rishi Kapoor's character (in Damini) goes through is missing, rendering the situations unrealistic and the characters that are reduced to being caricatures - and our own involvement in the movie fleeting, being held only as long as the movie lasts.

Despite all of this, I found Lajja engrossing - absorbing enough to make me write about it. Its a gripping narrative of a subject which is beaten-to-death. Most importantly, it argues the case of resting the task of a woman's emancipation on the woman herself - being bold enough to state that had Sita refused to concede to the Agni Pariksha (and in the modern day, if women in similar situations, reject traditions, customs that only humiliate their selves), things might be different.

And, Madhuri Dixit definitely made the film worth the watch.

Sibling Stories

2006-04-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

"Pramod Mahajan shot by his younger brother Pravin Mahajan" : This particular news headline has, to say the least, shocked the entirevnation and today as he battles for his life, all hope for his recovery. NDTV reports:

According to the Mumbai police, Pravin Mahajan has revealed many details about why he shot his brother Pramod:
• Pravin harboured a long standing resentment against Pramod
• He feels Pramod has not done enough for him
• Pravin feels that he has paid the price for being the sibling of a famous brother
• Pravin also said that whenever he needed to contact Pramod, he was made to go through secretaries who were very rude

…..Pramod Mahajan is known for his skills in bringing together political adversaries. Yet somehow he was unable to mend the rift within his own family.

The Times of India further reports :

Pravin Mahajan’s lawyer gave a new dimension to the mystery behind shooting by indicating that his client was mentally disturbed. But police commissioner A N Roy said the accused certainly showed no signs of mental illness or disturbance. He said the attack appeared “premeditated.’’ Police sources said Pravin looked to be “a deeply frustrated man’’ who suffered from an inferiority complex

Pramod Mahajan is the eldest in his family and has been known to be a father figure to his younger siblings. Pravin Mahajan, the youngest, as believed, too was dependent on Pramod Mahajan in many ways. This dependence, Pravin told the police turned into a long burning resentment.

The incident sparked a strain of thought – unrelated to the act per se – the thought, instead, veered towards the dynamics that exist between siblings and the immense differences in status as well as fortune that define some of them (like in the case of the Mahajan brothers). This bond comes perhaps just second in influence to the parent-child relationship in defining ones life.

With siblings we share a lifetime of stories and experiences - a wealth of shared history. Unique, by virtue of being incontrovertible and everlasting, the bond can be complex and multilayered. The presence (or absence) of a sibling can be a prominent determinant of an individual’s personality. Factors like one’s birth order position, age difference between siblings, gender roles, difference in capabilities – intellectual, physical, amiability - and most critically, the parental role (or a lack of it) in managing these differences : undeniably play a crucial role in defining individual character traits and a person’s general attitude towards dealing with future life issues. Ofcourse, overriding all of these could be the child’s opinion about himself – a factor of his intrinsic attitude.

Psychologist Alfred Alder’s work includes a very interesting theory on birth order dynamics in personality formation. More on Birth Order may be read here

He also asserts how the feeling of inferiority due to the presence of a sibling who exhibits more superior (or perceived as superior) qualities, may lead to what he calls ‘compensation’ – an attempt to make up for those perceived inferior functions – something which may lead to a useful direction towards exceptional achievement or a useless turn towards excessive perfectionism – leading to a ‘fictional final goal’ – something which promises relief from those feelings of inferiority. In reality, birth order, perhaps, has a greater role to play in the event of early parental loss, especially in the context of a large family (as was the case in the lives of the Mahajan siblings).

American sociologist Dalton Conley, in his book ‘Pecking Order’, differs from the ‘Birth Order’ theory or any other factor like genetic differences to explain differences between siblings, especially in the case of siblings born in economically disadvantaged classes. He believes that in families of two kids, birth order does not matter much. And that for most of us, good genes count only to the extent that they ‘fit in’ with the social circumstances around us.

Simply stated, he says that how innate talent is rewarded, depends on the socio-economic structure of that time, how well it matches with the values of the family and its circumstances to be able to perceive it as being valuable. For example, in a family valuing reading, a child’s innate athletic talents may go unrealized.

Citing the example of Bill Clinton and his half-brother Roger Clinton, he goes on to explain, that the differences in the way their individual lives turned out (one went on to be the President of the United States and the other an ex-convict -coke dealer) was largely due to the fact that there existed a good fit between Bill Clinton’s talents, and the political opportunities in a small state like Arkansas. And the lack of financial resources prevented the younger sibling from availing opportunities, like good schooling, which could have rewarded his talents. And though they shared a cherished childhood bond, the acute differences in their adult lives was a cause of much embarrassment, guilt and trauma to both.

The dynamics between siblings are to a large extent defined by the way the relationship is managed by the parents. Understanding the uniqueness of each child and responding accordingly. Instilling a sense of belonging and oneness with the family fold in each. Consciously cultivating a sense of mutual care and love between siblings - these are some of the ways through which parents handle, shape and forge realtionships between their children, which in turn, may mold their individual lives.

Complexities of the relationship apart, many sibling stories are happy stories. Healthy sibling bonds are an asset. They run deep and harbor mutual support, care and love. The treasure of shared history, comprising of childhood memories, games indulged in and tales assembled, is invaluable, especially as the years go by. Siblings provide a cushion of support and solace during times of crisis and represent the family sanctuary.

And though sibling relationships evolve over time and some siblings move apart in pursuit of careers, marriage and life in general, later events often draw them back. Simply stated, siblings are for life.

The Mathematics of success= - Maths or + Maths?

2006-04-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

This newsreport recently caught my eye. It talks about a proposal moved by the ministry of youth affairs and sports to make mathematics an optional subject after Class 8

I cannot claim to have any expertise to be able to comment on the decision, hence shall refrain from doing the same. The following post is less about the government’s decision, which I understand is going to incite opinions that are divided on the issue, in this post I am merely sharing my own tryst with the subject during my school life and the consequences, that I believe resulted thereof.

Without mincing words, let it be known that I was what could be referred to as being ‘average’ in Maths. It was a subject that always evoked panic, fear and also feelings of inferiority – as proficiency in the subject was supposedly inevitable to be considered ‘intelligent’ and hence if one was ‘poor in maths’ meant one could be relegated forever into the ‘not-so-bright’ breed. This perceived relationship between excelling in maths and excelling in life perhaps propelled me to fight tooth and nail with what was a lack of a ‘natural flair’ for the subject and a veneration for it dominated most of my student life (and it was the fear of this ignominy of being deemed 'unintillegent' that fuelled acceptable performance in the subject more than a natural comfort in the it). On hindsight, I never enjoyed maths but I believed strongly enough that one just had to be good at mathematics to make it anywhere significantly in life. End result – the focus of your life becomes something you want to be better at (hence are at most ‘ok’ in it), instead of being something you are inherently good at (and can potentially excel in).

This obsession with ‘proving’ one is good at mathematics or anything else for that matter could be partly self-created, driven by aspirations to model oneself on someone else who, for example, excels at that. Partly responsible could be a not-so-sensitive school teacher who could explicitly or implicitly hint that a student was ‘slow’ as proficiency in maths was not upto desired levels (sensitive, impressionable children, whose need for approval is very high, are especially susceptible to this). And mostly responsible is the general social scenario in our country where the more lucrative and high-profile jobs go to the engineering and/or MBA breed of professionals, a fundamental requirement of the engineering course being proficiency in mathematics (and in turn, 70% of MBAs are from engineering backgrounds, followed by economics, science and commerce, rarely arts.). Non-traditional career options that emanate from an aptitude, for instance, in the liberal arts, natural sciences or even those who possess non-academic talents like art, music, sports are considered neither lucrative nor worthwhile a student’s time and effort.

As a result of the above, what we achieve is a person who is at best average in what he does. Marcus Buckingham and Curt W. Coffman of Gallup in their book ‘First, Break All the Rules’ share an insight which they have culled during their extensive interaction with successful corporate managers, of course their finding is more aimed at the corporate arena, but in principle, is true of people in general. They say :

People don't change that much.
Don't waste time trying to put in what was left out.
Try to draw out what was left in.
That is hard enough.

In essence, what their philosophy states is that “…try to help each person become more and more of who he already is.”

The point that this post is trying to make is that an archaic education system that defines excellence in a rather uni-dimensional manner fails to tap the potential of the individual (and in turn the huge human resource pool that exists in India which is assumed to be our greatest asset as of today). And the answer does not lie in a solution as simplistic as making a subject/s optional (young students are most often driven by reasons other than a heightened awareness of their own strengths in making academic choices). What is required instead is an innovative system that is able to identify, encourage and nurture a student’s inherent strengths. It could mean making maths optional, or making history/social sciences optional - the suggested approach being one which makes one at the end of it, feel comfortable about one’s intrinsic talents and utilize them favorably.

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just Not You!

2006-03-12T18:14:00.000-08:00

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.

- Alice in Wonderland

This article on Introversion that I was directed to from here, sparked a chain of thoughts (well, what else do you expect of an introvert!), and further fuelled by the various comments and reactions from friends and other readers the following thoughts emerged, about ‘Introversion/Extroversion’ in specific and ‘type theories’ in general.

(1) Introverts are not necessarily detached or someone who don't need people (as the article mentions – they are not ‘misanthropic’) - Just that the effort required to interact in larger crowds is draining, and they prefer one-to-one interactions. The need to 'connect' at a human level can be very strong for even an introvert (It’s ok even if that connection happens through mail - infact the Internet is a boon for any introvert, as it provides the ideal environment to create connections, without the discomfort of the face-to-face medium), where as on the other hand, you may find extroverts who don't necessarily have the need to connect deeply with people (point is, a tendency towards either orientation doesn't automatically suggest a person's need to be with people)

(2)Though introverts are clearly at a greater disadvantage compared to their extrovert counterparts (especially as a child, when the comfort of 'being yourself' may not have yet developed and a constant push towards being more 'active' may lead to a lack of self-esteem, as the child tends to assume 'something must be wrong with me' to incite constant prodding) - the extroverts too may be at a disadvantage at times (imagine a gregarious extrovert growing up in a family of introverts)

(2) Most of us tend to balance-out our 'inherent' personalities - like everything else in nature, where, magically enough everything strives towards a state of equilibrium, so is the case with the human mind, and infact a lack of that is what leads to most mental/personality disorders (like any other disorder in nature) Which means, over time, introverts get more comfortable interacting with crowds and extroverts realise the need for some 'quite time'. (That tendency to achieve the state of equilibrium, very similar to what Jung calls 'individuation' is perhaps what we are referring to when we find a person 'balanced' - they are people, who have consciously or unconsciously sensed the dangers inherent in an 'extreme' form of anything – ‘too much of a good thing can be bad’)

(4) The true objective and purpose of any theories like these (that enunciate differences in people, like the MBTI, which the article also cites) is to highlight and appreciate the inherent differences, and should not be taken as an excuse to pander ones egos and get stuck in rigid patterns of behaviour (“See, this is how I am supposed to be, you can’t expect me to behave differently!”). The realisation arising out of the awareness of how different people can be, should be liberating, not restricting! It should not only lead to a heightened self-awareness but also to the awareness that we cannot assume everyone has the needs we have and hence may react, perceive and respond to situations differently.

In short as this book describes it excellently, ‘I’m Not Crazy. I’m Just Not You’

Boys don't cry

2006-03-11T16:27:00.000-08:00

I memorise, I walk in line,
carry my sacrifice for the sake of the millions.
All night you be the light on the water,
you be the pride and the sorrow,
shower your love to me there.

Soldiers, father and son,
we're soldiers, nowhere to run,
we fight or we die,
for what are we living for?
Boys never cry.

Soldiers, Bee-Gees

News reports such as those below keep trickling in...

Stressed soldier kills four colleagues. Monday, March 6, 2006 (Jammu).

Army jawan kills colleagues, shoots self. Sunday, October 2, 2005 (Jammu)

CRPF jawan kills seven colleagues in J&K Sunday, November 28, 2004 (Baramulla)

When the going gets tough, the tough too need help to fight the battles within..

Wah bhai wah!

2006-03-05T17:46:00.000-08:00

"Chhote chhote sheheron se, Khali bor dopharon se..."

I love this picture. It symbolises all that one associates with the spirit of small-town India, and may I add, the 'new' face of small-town India - earthy, endearing and aspirational. The innumerable Buntys and Bablis, jo jhola uthake chale...

And where did I spot it?, well, this photograph has found its way to the cover story of Newsweek,Issue March 6, aptly called : 'India Rising'.

Very briefly, this article brings out the following facts:

- Indian democracy may be chaotic and messy, but is growing fast.

- Over the last 15 yrs, India has been the 2nd fastest growing economy after China.

- The ambitious, ready-for-change society has triumphed over the state.

- Their are 1 million elected women in villages across the country - enabling a platform from which to demand better education and health care.

- India is becoming increasingly popular as the preferred spot to invest

- By 2040 India would boast as the third largest economy in the world.

- A the largest 'young' population (which could promise to be a formidable work force)

Depression can kill, literally

2006-03-01T22:05:00.000-08:00

Tum itanaa jo muskuraa rahe ho
Kyaa gam hai jis ko chhupaa rahe ho

Ban jaayenge jahar peete peete
Ye ashk jo peete jaa rahe ho

The recent suicide of model-actress Kuljeet Randhawa shocked many. To most, it brought back memories of Nafisa Joseph, another model-actress who, too had ended her young life in a similar tragic manner an year back. One could speculate endlessly as to what possibly could lead young, successful and the have-it-all-in-life (at least as it may seem) people to be driven to the edge of life. To the outward world, they projected a picture of happiness and confidence. Even people close to them who might have been privy to a more true picture, failed to sense the darkness that the person was being pulled into from within.

But the possible explanation, beyond the sensationalism of media headlines screaming about failed love affairs and other juicy angles, is perhaps a medical one – suicide is considered a mental health issue by medicine. A very common cause of suicide is known to be depression. As a matter of fact, according to the World Health organization it is feared to be the second largest cause of disability, after heart diseases, in the world.

Sadly enough, the nature and significance of depression as a medical problem is not known, or if known, mostly ignored, especially in our country. Depression is seen merely as a ‘state of mind’ and something which the person can overcome through will power – implying that someone who doesn’t ‘snap out of it’ is ‘weak’ and has ‘no will power’ – a belief which in fact, further pushes the person into the lonely, cocooned and confusing world of depression.

And though depression is something we have largely associated with images of spurned lovers, bereavement and/or loneliness – these circumstances may initiate or aggravate a depression, but rarely culminate into a state of despair eventually leading to suicide or even lead to a persistent state of sadness which makes normal life disruptive. For people who have not experienced or not been close to someone who has experienced the overwhelming nature of this mental state, it is rather difficult to understand the impact of this disorder - it takes away from the person any reason to hope and look forward to a possible reality other than the hopelessness looming around at that point in time.

The following lines from a poem by someone called S.N. that I stumbled across on the web bring out the silent cry of help of a depressed individual:

Depression overwhelms my soul
Deep darkness, a big, black hole
Sadness eats it way through my heart
Where does it end, where did it start?

Why does it have to be me?
If only the future I could see
Afraid of shadows In the dark
Will I ever make my mark?

So much to be thankful for
How can I ask for any more?
I just wish this could go away
For me to have a natural day

Suffice to say, if you notice any of the symptoms of depression in anyone close to you, friend or family, please help them. Listen to them. Don't advice or patronise. Don't try 'talking sense’, seek professional help if required. Schools and colleges, especially would have a counsellor to assist in a time like this. In the event that you find yourself slipping into this unconquerable abyss of sadness, please seek help. Talk about it. To a friend, family, doctor, counselor. Just remember, you are not alone.

The Jessica Lal case: Murder, lies and the people's media

2006-02-28T18:46:00.000-08:00

The secret of successful journalism is to make your readers so angry they will write half your paper for you. ~ C.E.M. Joad

The verdict in the Jessica Lal case has seen unprecedented public outcry against what is believed to be an absolute hijacking of the law and judicial system of the country. In my view, what has led to this kind of a unanimous mobilization of emotions is not just the nature of the case Â something which is not necessarily a first in our country, but the role the various media has played in fuelling emotions.

Not only do we have a plethora of news channels flashing images of shock - leading to further reaction, but one cannot overlook the role of the boundary-less and all-encompassing medium that makes the world flat - the internet. No other medium, has, prior to this enabled the Indian youth a platform so easy to voice an opinion. The interactive, immediate, and no-boundary nature of the web has helped give the phrase 'word-of-mouth' a new implication.

Passionate, raw reactions are plastered all over cyber space, in the form of blogs and reactions to news stories - unfurling a further cycle of opinions. Where on one hand you had blogs springing up in support of Jessica Lal, on the other, you had vitriolic comments splashed not only on the accused, but the perceived treachery of the hostile witness, Shayan Munshi.

NDTV recieved over 200,000 SMSs in support of the re-trial of the case, which was taken in the form of a petition to the President. Requisitions to sign up for the March 4th Protest March were sent out over the internet and through SMSs.

Truly, the byte is proving to be mightier than the gun !

Filmfare Awards 2006

2006-02-25T09:28:00.000-08:00

Looks like Bollywood is bereft of any versatality in talent - or as the Film(unfair) 2006 Awards seem to suggest. Ridiculously enough, all the awards from technical to critics to popular have been given to Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Hollywood-ish and melo-dramatic rendition of a story inspired by the life of Hellen Keller - 'Black'. Undoubtedly technically compelling and subject-wise not run-of-the-mill, but a tad over-hyped - surely 'Black' was not the only colour present in Bollywood in 2005 - other movies like 'Iqbal', 'Parineeta', 'Hazaaron Khawashein Aisi', even the entertaining 'Salaam Namaste' for its refreshingly bold portrayal of modern-day youthful sensibilties too deserved some notice.

Maine sirf Jessica Lal ko nahin maara…

2006-02-24T17:39:00.000-08:00

A struggling actor/model like Shayan Munshi has finally got the publicity he would have dreamt of all his life. People are asking, “Who the hell is Shayan Munshi?!” For those still in the dark, let me tell you. Shayan Munshi is a ‘budding’ actor who (with a ‘Jhankar Beats’ to his credit) has shot to fame for, well, being at ‘the place to be seen’, which unfortunately for him, turned out to be the wrong place at the wrong time – a key witness in the high profile Jessica Lal shooting case. Suddenly, from being a wannabe ‘who’s who’ of society, chose to do a ‘who, me?’ when it was his turn to testify as a witness to the murder of a ‘close friend’.

Anyway, this is not about Shayan Munshi, and the nobody he finally turned out to be. Like most of us, he’s only flesh and blood, and not the tough moral fibre that is required to stand up against a goon who also happens to be a politician's son. That moral fibre is something most of us only aspire to be. And neither is this about the hypocrisy of Page-3 fixtures – the likes of Bina Ramani, Malini Ramani and ilk, who have mostly chosen to walk the thin line dividing the ‘lawful’ from the ‘unlawful’ in the 'Third World', depending on what is more convenient at the current moment of time. So one cannot ignore the blatant flouting of the law that they were indulging in by serving liquor in an establishment that did not possess the liquor licence, while leading cushy and perhaps more law abiding lives in the 'First World' .

This is not just about Jessica Lal either. It is about the countless others who are victims of what can only be called a perverse smugness that has set amongst the politically-connected who have begun to perceive themselves as being above the law. It is about the death of a system based on democracy and fair judiciary which the founding fathers of our nation envisioned. The acquitting of the nine accused has not just dealt a deathly blow to the already dead Jessica Lal, but nailed the coffins of others, whose lives seem to count little in the eyes of a law which can be bought, manipulated and mostly coerced into submission.

Jessica’s case atleast got the media coverage it deserved. Most of them don’t make it even to the ‘News in Brief’ column. And most others continue to languish in public memory. Let us not be falsely cocooned within the comforts of our so-called educated and urban existence into believing that it could not happen to us. It could. Remember Nitish Katara, Manjunath Shanmugam, Satyendra Dubey, Priyadarshini Mattoo... They were People Like Us.

Some time back, some of us had been feverishly discussing the messages being given out by movies like Rang de Basanti, Yuva and Swades. And though the discussions were done on a much lighter note, time and again one is reminded of the common, more larger message inherent in these movies, that of individual accountability towards one’s nation – to participate instead of being mute cynics.

So, finally, this is about us, We the People. And the role we play in the life of our nation. Till such time that we continue to be apathetic to what happens around, the Manu Sharmas of the world shall thrive. That is what a democracy is about. Let us look around, and innumerable ways of participation will emerge. The public outrage that has forced the Delhi HC to set a deadline for Delhi Police to provide details on the Jessica Lal case may or may not mean much eventually, but is a step in that direction. The Trust set up in the memory of Manjunath Shanmugam by a bunch of IIM L alumnus is another example of one those ways - please contribute your bit so that it doesn't go the Jessica Lal way. Lets try.

A South Indian Wedding in Ottawa

2005-09-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

The journey from Plano to Ottawa started from the Dallas-Fortworth airport, early evening. Having reached the airport well before the scheduled departure, we whiled away at the bookstore, with little intent of buying anything in particular, but with the intention of indulging in general browsing – one of the must-be-done stuff while one is waiting at an airport terminal. This was followed by a 20 min indulgence of the taste buds at TGIF – another of the must-be-done things while one is waiting.(surprising, the best things in life are done while waiting for other things to happen!)

The Dallas-Chicago-Ottawa flight took almost 5 hours, some of which was spent leafing through the ‘Sky Mall’ magazine available in the flight. Amongst the other innovative stuff that was up for sale, what was most novel, were the range of products available for pets – from shoes to bed-ramps (yes, that’s a ‘bed ramp’ to assist your pet to get on board) – man, how I wish I had a dog’s life!

The journey finally ended after enduring a half hour at the Ottawa airport immigration. The ride from the airport to the wedding home revealed a city which was quite different from Plano – undulating roads in comparison to vast, flat lands; old-ish red brick houses against the more neat, modern structures around the Dallas area. Another noticeable feature of Canada is the equal use and presence of both the English and French languages – instruction boards, directions etc.

The wedding ceremonies commenced Friday morning with a series of Pujas, mostly involving the would-be bride, bride’s mother and various other family women. It can be quite amusing (or quite heart warming for some) to watch a dhoti-angavastram clad pujari chanting away hindu-slokas, surrounded with kanjivaram-clad, ‘kum-kum’ adorned maamis, along with the paraphernalia of flowers, brass-silver puja vessels, incense etc. in the backyard of a wooden-floored, red-bricked Canadian house. The puja series was followed by a typically south-indian fare of lemon rice, coconut beans curry, curd rice and pickle – painstakingly prepared by the women of the house (the same wedding back home would have been slightly different, with ‘halvais’ camped outside the wedding house, armed to take care of feeding guests, and hence easing some of the burden from the inmates of the household).

While the hustle-bustle of lunching guests continued in one end of the house, the backyard was getting stripped off the puja-remnants – to be prepared for the ‘mehndi’. The latter half of the afternoon had the bride, and friends of the bride getting hands hennaed, and many of us busy getting ourselves ready for the evening event. Through hair-dos gone wrong, missing shoes, misplaced gifts and the other things-that-must-go-wrong-in-a-wedding, we finally trooped out for the ‘Garden Party’ – which was a small get-together for families and friends of both sides – the bride and groom. We met, exchanged smiles (and gifts), indulged in general chatter, ate ‘poli’ and ‘gojju’ and got back to our hotel room.

Next morning was the main event – the wedding. It was held at the ‘Hindu Temple of Ottawa ’, which is a pristine structure in white. The wedding ceremony was held in a tent outside the temple. The guests comprised of families and friends from all over the world, friends from the local Indian community and also the local Canadians. The wedding ceremonies were carried out in the traditional style of any south indian wedding, starting with the ‘kashi yatra’. The bride was brought in seated in a basket, carried by the mamas, petrified at the prospect (no, not of getting married!) of falling off what appears to be a not very comfortable mode of transportation! What was more interesting for an Indian such as self, was not the wedding proceedings (which is an oft experienced affair back home), but the bemused (and confused) reactions of the non-Indian population present. Clad in attires as quaint as the proceedings were to them (like Scottish kilts, Japanese kimonos to a hairdo clasped in a chopstick-style hairpin) all presumably following the dress code stated for the occasion: traditional, Indian or western, they attempted to earnestly follow the ceremonies as listed down in the pamphlets handed out at the entrance.

The moment we all were waiting for, finally arrived – lunch (sundry, three hour long ceremonial affairs may be of immense entertainment value to a north American used to the staid Christian style wedding, but can prove to be arduous to a bunch of hungry, bored-to-death Indians). We feasted on some divine sambhar-rasam style spread, catered by yours-truly - Saravana Bhavan. So, a sumptuous lunch and various round-table-style chatter session, so typical of wedding get-togethers, was followed, predictably, by a blissful siesta, back in the hotel room.

The evening was allegedly the grind finale to it all – the sit down dinner reception. The venue was the National Art Gallery of Ottawa, a beautiful monument built in glass, metal and stone. The hall was set with round tables, with pre-designated seating (and menu) – which, theoretically means, you may have to stomach (along with the food) somebody you don’t like, dislike or are indifferent to. But as it turned out, true to our Indian style, we did some ‘adjust madi’ and shuffled up the arrangements to our liking (what to do, we are like this only!), and the rest of the evening was spent in good, old fashioned, warm Indian bonhomie. The evening started with the bride and bridegroom descending from an elevator from the glass dome of the hall (in very very Hollywood fashion), and then waltzing before the guests. The evening proceeded with short oscar style speeches in honour of the bride and bridegroom, given by family, friends and themselves. Various unintelligible (assuredly, only to the unsophisticated Indian palate like ours) food items appeared (how else, to do you explain, ‘Butter-soft Aubergine in appadam basket’!!) in between, served by ultra-chic “maître d'”. Some well-scripted speeches, glasses of wine and experimental dining later, the dance floor was left open, and yes, this was a point where we were back on home turf – indi pop!! Yet again, amusement galore to see Brits and Americans, dressed in their formal best, to sway and tap to the tune of ‘Mehndi laga ke rakhna’, ‘Dhoom macha le’ etc.

The hectic two days of the wedding, finally, wrapped up the next day with a brunch, which was a spread of various goodies, but as the hot fresh uttapams being dished out by an Indian chef in the backyard were most indulged in, that’s what I remember of it all. So thus came to an end, two days of meeting family, making new friends and the wedding celebrations, concluding, (putting it all in good humor) yet another Great Indian Wedding Tamasha!

More blogs about south indian wedding ottawa.

Coming to America

2005-08-31T20:58:00.000-07:00

Arriving in the United States for the first time is an experience that is bound to provoke thoughts and/or evoke reactions from any Indian. The nature and intensity of the reaction would depend on one’s perspective towards life in general. Hence reactions range from those of awe (at the omnipresent smooth infrastructural machinery – a characteristic of the First World), to that of pure sensual thrill (after all isn’t this the land of milk and honey, it also has a city notoriously named as the “Sin City” – more or less characterizing the uninhibited nature of the entire country in the form of an abundance of sensual delights of the ‘food, flesh and fashion’ variety) to those of a more philosophical in nature (We definitely are children of a ‘Lesser God’ , for them to soak in the excesses of this abundance and for us to be left jostling for everything – earth, water, air)

My story started on the Frankfurt-Dallas leg of the Banaglore-Frankfurt-Dallas journey. The sense of alienation set in as I found myself in unfamiliar surroundings – pay phones had to be used by swiping cards (where did the good old coin slot go?!) and menu cards read out prices in Euros. In the flight, the familiar sight of ‘desis’ was replaced with those of Americans and Europeans – and it finally begun to settle in, I’m on my way far, far away from home. And I clung on, to the strains of Bollywood music, which surprisingly had found its way into one of the radio channels from of the in-flight entertainment – the only thing known in a largely unknown setting.

The drive from the airport to home unfolded what is oft heard about the western world – open spaces and wide roads – spotless (and also human less.) Once you start settling in to your apartment, another phenomenon of the western world hits you – technology has replaced the human factor. You have remote controlled gates into the apartment complex, replacing the ubiquitous ‘watchman’ back home; the dishwasher-washer-dryer-vacuum cleaner combo has made the man-Friday ‘bai’ redundant. All a fallout of the fact that this is a land sparsely populated, resulting in an environment where a premium is placed on any service rendered by a human (something again, quite alien to one coming from a land where not only is labor cheap and readily available, but that particular flavour of human factor is a necessary ingredient of one’s life).

A visit to the local grocery store (besides the picturesque landscape of tree lined suburban houses, uncluttered roads and swanky cars) furthers the significance of the term ‘First World’ associated with this country – this truly, is the proverbial land of ‘milk and honey’, where abundance is the norm. It does leave one introspecting and questioning the reasoning behind it all – a question, though quite obvious, but nevertheless complex – why are we so poor and when does our status elevate from being that of a ‘developing’ nation to that of a ‘developed’ one?

Many questions, few answers and largely musings – this more or less explain the immediate and current mental state associated with my first visit to the United States. Settling down into this new country, adapting to the newness, till the unknown gets more known shall, hopefully open up avenues of exploration to experience a new culture, way of life and learning of all that is positive and interesting.

To see a World in a grain of sand...

2004-12-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

To see a World in a grain of sand,
And a Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,

And Eternity in an hour....